the dope report

East Coast Ivy Leaguers are coming out of the pot closet like mad at The Atlantic Monthly’s web site. Over there, gay columnist and badass Andrew Sullivan ingnited a trend when he called out Obama for laughing off the ‘legalizing pot’ question. Prohibition kills poets, college kids and everyone in between, so it’s not something to fucking joke about, Sullivan said. Emboldened, one reader noted the ‘pot closet’; the idea that the nation is as closeted about weed as it was about gayness back in the day. Sullivan threw open the closet and the reader response gushed. The highlights:

“I am a self made multi-millionaire with three houses in three states including a ski house in Colorado and a penthouse apartment in Manhattan. I’m happily married and keep fit by running 15 miles a week and working out regularly. I support the arts and other charities heavily. I oftentimes work long hours and manage a crew of about 70 people. I have been a weed smoker for as long as I can remember. Recently I received a glass bong as a present. Tonight my friends and I are going to rip huge tubes of sweet OG kush and get high as shit. Then I will take my responsible millionaire ass and plant it in front of the TV for a long night of xbox and candy eating. I will laugh uncontrollably and have a fantastic time. These nights of Xbox and reefer is one of the best things in my life… And I got a pretty damn good life.” 4/3 The Cannabis Closet

“42-year-old father of three, youth football coach (actually coordinator for the league), homeowner, wife is treasurer for the Brownies, master’s degree, worked for the same company for 15 years. And on Saturday nights, I like to get high down in my basement, after everyone’s in bed, and surf the Web or play video games…. I would be able to keep my job if I were to “come out” as a homosexual. I can not say the same regarding marijuana!” 3/27 The Marijuana Closet

I have an MBA and work as an energy trader for an international company in Manhattan. Last Democrat I voted for was Clinton, in 1992. Six figure salary, vacations to the Caribbean, etc, etc… I also try to keep myself in good physical shape, lifting weights and running about 15 miles a week. Aside from sports I also enjoy music and am teaching myself the piano. I also consider myself an avid reader and am currently tackling some of Plato’s dialogues.

I’m a bit embarrassed to write the above because it makes me seem like I’m bragging about myself, but that is not my intention at all. It is only to show that someone can smoke weed almost daily while completely destroying almost all of the myths of the harm of pot (Unmotivated Loser Syndrome, Lazy Overweight Mucher Syndrome, Gateway Theory). 4/1 TCC

I personally know of a highly-ranked orthopedist, a prosthedontist, a math/science teaching consultant, 2 teachers, several attorneys, and a city district attorney, among others. 4/1 TCC

I’m 50 year old man, full time parent to two beautiful girls, 5 and 11, and a loving husband for 16 years. We’re solidly middle class in a diverse suburb on the northern edge of Cincinnati, Oh. 4/1 TCC

I worked as a Capitol Hill staffer for 4 years, covering legislative affairs ranging from domestic to international affairs. I am now gainfully employed at a humanitarian agency in DC. 4/1 TCC