In These Tough Economic Times, Star Athletes and Their Moms Are Pushing Weight
Apparently throwing a baseball faster than fuck for thousands of dollars can’t even stop your mom from peddling tweak in these damned economic ages. Jacqueline Standley, mother of New York Yankees star hurler Joba Chamberlain, was arrested over the weekend and charged Monday with delivery of an exceptionally hazardous drug. Standley was popped on some deep undercover shit on Feb. 11 when a Lincoln, Neb. officer purchased a gram of meth from Standley for $110. C’mon Joba, you’re slated to make a scratch under half a million bucks this year and your mom still has to push meth rocks? In the true words of Raekwon the Chef, times is rough and tough like leather indeed.
While fine industries such as pornography and canned soup remain recession-proof, it appears that athletics are not. Last month former NFL running back Travis Henry pleaded guilty to trafficking cocaine after financing five kilos to be sold in Montana. Former NBA forward Corie Blount also pleaded guilty to some hefty drug charges in April after Ohio sheriff deputies caught Blount with his own stimulus package—29 pounds of marijuana. And just in time for Mom’s Day, the mother of a rising star gets rung up for a measly gram of meth.
Need a few gift ideas, Joba? How about the new Diana Krall, Chris Botti, or maybe even a $5000 bail bond?
