the dope report

Sorry. We can’t help it. We simple man. Hope these old photos don’t ruin her Olympic swimming career / vampire advertising deals.

California pro-marijuana lobbyists are bringing the fight to the television by launching this new ad.

Assemblyman Tom Ammiano introduced a bill earlier this year to tax and regulate marijuana like alcohol, that would provide an estimated $1 billion in taxes for the economically downtrodden state of California. Unfortunately, since Tom is a democrat from San Francisco, hardly anyone has bought into his hippie pothead bullshit.

That would explain why the face of marijuana regulation comes not in the form of Jeff Spiccoli or Cheech & Chong, but rather, a defenseless old white lady. Watch this ad paid for by the Marijuana Policy Project, as retired state employee Nadene Herndon explains how California can stop the bleeding by going puff, puff, tax.

Now, will all the other nonthreatening milquetoast marijuana supporters please stand up?

[KCRA via DoseNation]

On a downtown stretch of the 101 Freeway, a storm of bullets riddled a $100,000 Bentley, showering the lanes with shell casings and glass, and leaving the driver mortally wounded. ... A search warrant affidavit filed by a Los Angeles Police Department detective says investigators learned that the dead man, 25-year-old Jose Luis Macias, might have been selling drugs here for the notorious Arellano Felix cartel. ... In recent years, the death and imprisonment of key leaders have weakened the Arellano Felix cartel, but it remains a fierce combatant for drug smuggling routes from Tijuana into Southern California and across the United States law enforcement officials say. ... the cartel brings cocaine, heroin, marijuana and methamphetamine into the state and acts as a wholesaler for drug-dealing street gangs.

[LAT]

Chicago Cubs manager Lou Piniella recently admitted to trying marijuana and not liking it, which probably explains his anger issues.

“Look, I have smoked dope one time in my life,” Piniella said before the Cubs faced the Chicago White Sox at U.S. Cellular Field. “And it didn’t do a damn thing for me, and I never tried it again. I’m fortunate because of that. A lot of people do. You can even buy it in California from a pharmacy.”

Piniella offered this statement in support of Cubs catcher Geovany Soto, who tested positive for marijuana at this year’s World Baseball Classic held in March.

Hey Geo and Lou! If you were a hot dog and really, really high, would you eat yourself? I know I would.

[ESPN]

Amado Carillo Fuentes aka “Lord of the Skies”
Country: Mexico, USA
Product: Cocaine, Marijuana

Amado Fuentes was the boss of the Juarez Cartel and one of the most feared and sought out drug lords in all of Mexico. The DEA estimates that he is one of the biggest drug traffickers of all time, transporting more than four times the amount of cocaine than anyone else of his era. His operation is considered one of the most lucrative, reaching a cool 25 billion.

Just about everyone celebrating 4/20 today got the pre-party started by watching last night’s episode of Family Guy. While this episode could have easily ended up as more pothead fodder, Seth McFarlane and his creative team put together some sharp commentary on marijuana regulation throughout the hilarity.

The first act, which is just a Simpsons-esque nonsensical intro to segue into the actual story, centers around Peter disposing of Quagmire’s pet cat after he turns into one of those annoying people who love their pets too much. Peter and Brian then get pulled over, but the police are willing to let them go despite the mess of blood, until a bag of sweet cheeba falls out of Brian’s pocket and lands them in jail.

As tax season closes upon us all like a venomus vice of snakes, it’s nice to know rappers have the same problems we have. Wu-Tang member Clifford Smith, aka M-E-T-H-O-D, MAN owes $52,503 to the State of New York in back taxes, so the state sent four NYPD officers and a repo team, nabbing Method’s 2008 Lincoln Navigator. UPI reported the news March 19, and the NY Daily News followed March 22. Click the headline to read, the best quotes below:

Crackdowns on the southern border of the United States post-9/11 catalyzed a bloom in marijuana growing within America’s borders, Mexican drug cartels, the AP reports. This blowback from post 9-11 xenophobia has led to the “most intensely polluted pockets of wilderness in America”.

Way to go, team.

According to the AP, eradication forces discovered 700 grow sites on California’s U.S. Forest Service land alone in 2007 and 2008. They were soaked and sprinkled with weed and bug sprays and growth hormones. The farms featured diverted streams, miles of PVC pipes, rat poison, and the carcasses of poached deer and bears.

So basically, it looks like a normal day’s work at a legitimate American factory farm. Ron Pughof the U.S. Forest Service tells the AP the situation is an “unprecedented commercial enterprise conducted by armed foreign nationals. It is a huge mess.”

“Last year, law enforcement agents uprooted nearly five million plants in California, nearly a half million in Kentucky and 276,000 in Washington state as the development of hybrid plants has expanded the range of climates marijuana can tolerate.”

“As of Sept. 2, more than 2.2 million plants had been uprooted statewide. The largest single bust this year nationwide netted 482,000 plants in the remote Sierra of Tulare County, the forest service said.”

And that’s just a fraction of what is out there. This is why thedopereport only buys local, organic and sustainable.