the dope report

Take it from Hugo Chavez, Playstation is poison, and will lead you down the path to Hell. The iPhone, however. That’s just the Jesus phone. Now with drug dealing for $9.99 [iTunes ‘Grand Theft Auto Chinatown Wars’]

• Soul Power (DVD, Blu-Ray)

  Remember that Ali vs. James Brown animated short we showed you? Well, it actually happened, kind of. This concert film/documentary focuses on the Zaire 74 festival that preceded and promoted Ali and Foreman’s legendary “Rumble in the Jungle” fight. Soul Power features performances from James Brown, Bill Withers, B.B. King, Celia Cruz, and Miriam Makeba.

• David Bowie – A Reality Tour (CD)

  “You be doin’ nose candy off the Bowie coke mirror, my girlie asked for some but I pretended not to hear her.” All your favorite Bowie tunes, only live.

• Beach House – Teen Dream (CD+DVD)

  Indie rock to get stoned to. The Baltimore duo’s third release also comes with a DVD containing videos for every song on the album.

• Mass Effect 2 (Xbox 360, PC)

  Travel galaxies to recruit a few good men, women, and aliens to preserve organic life threatened by space baddies. This Sci-Fi epic could go down as the most action-packed RPG created.

• MAG (Playstation 3)

  Sony combats Xbox 360’s exclusive Mass Effect 2 with what promises to be one ridiculously awesome online multiplayer game. 256-player deathmatches, ‘nuff said.

• The Hurt Locker (DVD, Blu-Ray)

  Grind your teeth throughout every tense minute of this film about a military bomb defusing unit during the Iraq War. Great acting performances and taut, unnerving drama makes this one of the best films of 2009.

• Moon (DVD, Blu-Ray)

  This sci-fi thriller showcases the underrated Sam Rockwell as a lonely miner on the dark side of the moon whose only interaction comes from a computer named GERTY 3000. With that obvious homage to 2001: A Space Odyssey’s HAL 9000, expect to see some space madness on par with classics like Solaris and Sunshine.

• 8 1/2 (Blu-Ray)

  Frederico Fellini’s cinematic masterpiece now gets Criterion Collection treatment in glorious hi-def. Sure, it’s black and white, but the HD transfers for Dr. Strangelove and Young Frankenstein look beautiful, and so will 8 1/2.

• Vampire Weekend – Contra (CD)

  Their sophomore effort expands on their indie rock to world beat sound. These guys would eat Paul Simon’s dick in a heartbeat if they could.

• Blockhead – Music Scene (CD)

  Dope hip-hop beats courtesy of Aesop Rock’s old producer. If you like Aesop Rock and Def Jux, then this is a must cop.

• Army of Two: The 40th Day (PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, PSP)

  A hardcore action shooter with subtext indicting the military industrial complex, or a homoerotic tale of love between two private military contractors? Maybe it’s a little bit of both.

• Left 4 Dead 2 (Xbox 360, PC)

  L4D’s wave of zombie mutilation continues with this sequel set in New Orleans. Blow ‘em up from afar or get up close and real messy with melee weapons that include electric guitars, machetes, and chainsaws.

• Assassin’s Creed 2 (PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, PC)

  The historical epic about a lineage of assassins moves from the medieval Holy Land to Renaissance-era Italy. Exact your kills with precision devices invented by Leonardo da Vinci. Just don’t get spotted by Lorenzo de’ Medici.

• Them Crooked Vultures (CD)

  This rock and roll supergroup boasts a power trio of Queens of the Stone Age’s Josh Homme, Foo Fighters’ Dave Grohl, and Led Zeppelin’s John Paul Jones. ‘Nuff said.

• Felt 3 – A Tribute to Rosie Perez (CD)

  Indie hip-hop aces Murs and Slug team up with Aesop Rock for another B-movie actress homage. Easily one of the best hip-hop releases of the year.

• Star Trek (DVD, Blu-Ray)

  J.J. Abrams’ reboot gives the legendary franchise a sorely-needed boost of adrenaline and awesomeness.

• Fight Club (Blu-Ray)

  Now watch Project Mayhem destroy beautiful things in beauitful hi-def.

• Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, PC)

  Our UAV is finally online! The year’s most anticipated video game release is now upon us. Read the TDR review for more.

• Up (DVD, Blu-Ray)

  We’re fairly certain that Pixar can do no wrong at this point. This film features one of the most heart-wrenching opening sequences in a kids movie to date, but manages to balance it out with lots of humor and adventure.

• Watchmen: The Ultimate Cut (DVD, Blu-Ray)

  Zack Snyder’s near-faithful adaptation of Alan Moore’s seminal graphic novel gets a little bit closer with this director’s cut that weaves the Black Freighter cartoon into the live-action narrative.

• Pearl Jam – Backspacer [Import] (CD)

  The ‘90s alt-rock juggernauts’ ninth album is only available at Target, but you can order this enhanced import from Amazon.

• Wale – Attention Deficit (CD)

  When a rapper puts together an underground mix dedicated to Seinfeld, he’s got to be pretty cool. Wale follows up The Mixtape About Nothing with this proper debut album.

• Lego Rock Band (PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Wii, DS)

  Just like the regular Rock Band games, only with Legos for some reason. Although we can’t complain about getting to play with Lego versions of Iggy Pop and David Bowie.

• Weezer – Raditude (CD)

  The legendary power-pop quartet that hit its artistic plateau four albums ago now makes it five albums ago.

• Julian Casablancas – Phrazes For The Young (CD)

  That adds up to four out of five Strokes members with solo albums, and all of them combined still aren’t as good as Is This It.

• Fraggle Rock: Complete Series Collection (DVD)

  The trippy Jim Henson muppet show you used to enjoy as a kid, only now you can smoke bowls of weed instead of grubbing bowls of cereal.

• Will Ferrell: You’re Welcome, America. A Final Night With George W. Bush (DVD)

  Ferrell brought back his excellent Dubya impersonation from SNL for this Broadway show and HBO special. Bush looks back on his days in the White House in hilarious fashion, such as a 4-way sexual encounter that had “the power of the Karma Sutra and the Incredible Hulk at a Dave Matthews concert. In other words, it just felt right.”

• Monty Python: Almost The Truth (DVD, Blu-Ray)

  IFC’s miniseries documentary about your favorite comedians’ favorite comedians, featuring interviews with Lorne Michaels, Dan Aykroyd, and many more awesome individuals. For another MP dick-suck-a-thon, Monty Python: The Other British Invasion is also out today.

• Whatever Works (DVD, Blu-Ray)

  Woody Allen’s latest film featuring Larry David, creator of Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm. Expect Larry to be the hilarious asshole he always is.

• Tech N9ne – K.O.D. (CD)

  Some hardcore “I’ma fuckin’ stab you” hip-hop from one of the most hot-headed emcees. Dude seems easily upset.

• Broadcast – Broadcast and the Focus Group Investigate Witch Cults of the Radio Age (CD)

  Dreamy, ambient lo-fi pop perfect for whippets. Pass that balloon, son!

• Tekken 6 (PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, PSP)

  The classic 3-D fighting game that should be renamed Button-Mashers Ball.

• DJ Hero (PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Nintendo Wii, PlayStation 2)

  Do your best Greg Gillis impersonation as you try to mix songs spanning multiple genres, from the Beastie Boys to David Bowie to Marvin Gaye. There’s also a limited Renegade Edition featuring a sweet carrying case and extra tracks from Jay-Z and Eminem.

• Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (DVD, Blu-Ray)

  Good old mindless Hollywood entertainment from the master, Michael Bay. Hokey screenwriting aside, at least there’s a mega shit-ton of explosions, huge robots fighting, and hot-ass Megan Fox.

• Waterworld (Blu-Ray)

  If only to see Kevin Costner sip on his own pee in hi-def.

• Flight of the Conchords – I Told You I Was Freaky (CD)

  The formerly New Zealand’s fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo are back with songs from Season 2 of the hilarious HBO series.

• Fashawn – Boy Meets World (CD)

  Finally, a teenage rapper that’s actually talented and really knows about hip-hop culture. The entire album also features production from west coast beat luminary Exile.

• Borderlands (PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, PC)

  This first-person shooter pits you as a mercenary searching for life-renewing technology on a barren, post-apocalyptic planet. This is the closest you’ll ever get to living out your Road Warrior fantasies.